These are alleged to be some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews:
Problem: "Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement." Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tyre."
Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough." Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."
Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid." Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal." Problem #2: "#1, #3, #4 propellers lack normal seepage."
Problem: "The autopilot doesn't." Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."
Problem: "Something loose in cockpit." Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."
Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear." Solution: "Evidence removed."
Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud." Solution: "Volume set to a more believable level."
Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield." Solution: "Live bugs on order."
Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent." Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."
Problem: "IFF [Identification Friend or Foe] inoperative." Solution: "IFF always inoperative in OFF mode."
Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick." Solution: "That's what they're there for."
Problem: "Number three engine missing." Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."
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